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It was hardly the most auspicious way to begin a week away. As the clock ticked onwards, I was going
precisely nowhere as traffic on the M4 slowed to a standstill. Feeling close to the edge, I checked the milometer to discover I'd travelled just five miles in the last hour. For someone doctrinated into the way of that thinking condemns dawdling and damns
it was as much as I could bear.
Curiously though, just hours later I was enduring even slower speeds but couldn't
the smile off my face. That's the magic of the British Waterways for you.
My home for five days was Stigmund, a 45-foot narrowboat and 'the fastest ship
fleet' according to hire company Viking Afloat. Speed's hardly the name
of the game when you're on a canal, though.
Indeed, you're unlikely to be going much faster than the 'heel-and-toe express' maybe 3-4mph. The pace on
wider rivers is a touch more but remains distinctly leisurely and all the better for it because
- unlike on the wheezing road -this is a trip where the journey itself, not the arrival, is what counts.
There are more than 2,000 miles of British waterways to discover, meaning my trip around a small portion of the Stourport Ring (incorporating the Staffordshire & Worcester canal, the River Severn and the Worcester & Birmingham canal) was the tip of the iceberg. It was a sufficient taste, however, for me not to hesitate to recommend such a jaunt to others.
There can be few more pleasant ways to spend a few days with a loved one or a group of friends.
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Despite my own initial incompetence at the tiller, navigating the vessel is pretty simple. After half an hour of lurching from one bank to another, alarming ducks and bemusing shipmates and onlookers, I was soon right up there with the most accomplished helmsmen, maintaining an arrow-straight line and gliding into the narrow locks without so much as grazing the bow. If I can do it after that start, anyone can.
This is a trip where the journey, not the arrival itself, is what counts.
The locks themselves represent the most physical aspect of the experience, although it's hardly back-breaking. There's something quite amazing about the simplicity of this age-old system that allows boats to rise and fall to the desired level without complex machinery and it's not long before operating the gates becomes second nature. Although not
terribly labour intensive, sections of the waterways teem with locks, so if you want an easy life it's worth checking out beforehand how many you can expect to encounter during your intended voyage.
Still, even if lock work does leave you a touch jaded there are numerous opportunities to enjoy some restful stop-offs. For starters, what could be better than taking the edge off the afternoon with a sit-down lunch (or a cheeky half-pint) in a sunny pub garden? Not a lot I soon discovered, as numerous hostelries emerged on either side of the canal-some of which you might never otherwise stumble upon-offering smashing pub grub, often at good, honest prices.
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There's an ever-present feeling of being, if not quite at one with, at least very close to nature. The chirruping birds, quacking ducks, gambolling lambs in bordering fields and rustling trees make the heart sing, while in some places you may encounter rarer creatures like otters, kingfishers, herons and water voles. A game of 'I spy' was never so entertaining. The waterways experience is, naturally, at its most enjoyable in the glorious sunshine with which my own trip was
blessed. The prospect of navigating through sheeting rain is not quite so appealing but if the unpredictable British weather forces you below, you're certainly not forced to live like 'scurvy dogs'. Central heating, a gas cooker, comfortable beds, a piping hot shower and a spacious fridge make it very much a home from home. There's even a colour TV~ although tuning in to what's going on around you will hopefully be far more diverting than the gogglebox.
Designed initially as inland cargo routes in the 1600s, the canal network still harks back to a more distant era, when people tipped their hats to each other in greeting and thought nothing of
meeting the gaze of a stranger while passing the time of day.
Folk do seem more amiable on the waterways. No one's rushing or harrying you and time seems to slow down to the extent that a week seems more like a fortnight.
It's such a contrast to 'normal' 21st-century life that it makes you wonder if we've lost sight of some of the things that are really important. So if you've ever had the feeling that life's racing you by, a trip on the waterways could be just the ticket. After my own experience, being a landlubber suddenly seemed drab. It's now a case of when-and certainly not if-I take to the water again.
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