Mate Escapes
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The Midlands - pushing the boat out.... by Jo Cooke

Cruising past the English countryside, glass of wine in hand, seemed the perfect way to catch up with friends. Canal boats gliding along Britain's inland waterways look harmless enough, but not, it turned out, in our hands! We had booked a state-of-the-art boat with TV DVD, CD player, two bathrooms and fully-fitted kitchen. Loaded with enough booze and goodies for our three-day trip, we arrived at Gayton Marina, Northamptonshire. A handsome young man showed us to our boat. It was the length of two buses! After giving us a fascinating talk on diesel engines, bilge water, slip knots and propellers, we chugged off.

Two hours later, and feeling extremely proud of ourselves, we moored at Stoke Bruerne village, where we had dinner. Next day, after a long lie-in, we fired up the engine and set off, feeling like queens of the waterways. Everything was going swimmingly - until we met our first lock. All I can say is, don't attempt your first lock on a sunny Sunday lunchtime in full view of two pubs. Tash and Jules let the water out instead of in, Kirsty nearly lassoed a small child with the tow rope and it took me six attempts to steer the boat in straight.
The punters in the beer gardens were splitting their sides. Still, half an hour later, we'd done it. And practice makes perfect! Only six more locks to go...

By the time we'd reached lock number three, word must have got around that we weren't exactly experts. Out of nowhere, a chap from the waterways authority appeared and did the remaining locks for us. Result! The sun shining, we moored up near a marina while Kirsty made us bacon sarnies. 'This is the life,' we thought, as we sat on deck. Fed and watered, we set off again, but every time we tried to steer away from the bank, our boat went round in a circle. Things went from bad to worse and, by the time we'd finished, the boat was stuck lengthways across the canal.

We'd created a first for the Grand Union Canal - a traffic jam. Once the other boaters had stopped laughing, they pushed us back in the right direction. After that, we got the hang of it - tackling the locks with ease and stopping at pretty villages.

We were even sad when we had to give the boat back. Life on the canals is an absolute hoot.

Anyone can do it - we proved that - and it's great fun.